In an attempt to save their relationship, Bancy and Quincy decided spice up their relationship. For some reason, that is the only time a majority of Kenyan men will be willing to pay attention and actually work towards the relationship. Not because they are afraid that they will lose you, (saving a relationship is normally left for to woman these days because we have grown bigger balls and beards) but because you care for the relationship so much that they take advantage by imposing what they have always wanted to do. Then they say, “we need to ” to make you feel involved, as if you made the decision together but in actual sense, you did not think about it as an individual…but they already did. You just agreed to it. He made you feel like you are the problem in the relationship or that you are not doing something. In real sense, they are.

So you walk around feeling falsely empowered. You feel like one more woman has been granted the power to ‘make decisions over her sexuality’, “granted sexual freedom” (why do we kill ourselves and each other over worthless male validation) but listen here children and all “feminists” sexual freedom does not mean entail having sex with anything that walks with a protrusion(like men think that manhood is) . Equality doesn’t mean being a “dawg’ like the men pride themselves on being. They say” That’s just being a man” . You want to push for the freedom to mess around and for abortion rights before actually advocating for sexual health and cause prevention. There are larger issues that can be solved by a feminist than gathering around to discuss who should buy the pearls in the relationship. Anyway…so you do it because finally, like the man, you can make the crazy sexual decisions in the relationship.

Bancy agrees. Quincy then asks that she purchases what she wants and she does her shopping. Now, one reason why people shop online is to shop in confidentiality. It is then delivered by someone who may not have an idea of what’s in the box and even if they did, it’s none of their businesses. But Umia hunny, they’ll call you on phone to confirm a global order, oh Bancy 😂😂😂😂😂

We humans have a thing for doing stupid or crazy things until it is repeated to us. When it is repeated to us we start judging ourselves. So she selected what she needed and confirmed the order. Suddenly a strange number called and she answered.

” Hello my name is Helen from Umia and I’d like to confirm the orders you made, so I’m going to read them out to you”

Bancy was shocked and embarrassed but not as embarrassed as the agent on the other end of the line who stuttered and gave short laughs as she read the items on her cart,

” One 500ml Sensation Gel” Very embarrassed, Bancy, said”Okay”

“One uuuumh, one shibari rope” the agent continued.

Bancy did not answer, the agent confirmed if she was still there “Hello”.

“Yes, I hear you” Bancy replied.

“Ummmh hm, haha, one set of sexy…umh, white lace thong” well imagine where these agents sit, probably in an open office.

Bancy said “Yeah” with her eyes wide open.

“Your order will take roughly two weeks, thank you for choosing Umia, have a lovely day.

That must be one of the most difficult conversations a customer service person can ever have.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s